The Marriage Lab: That’s What She Said

When our partner says something, we often interpret what “they meant”. We only understand partially, like seeing between the boards in a fence. So our brains piece together a story and fill in for what’s missing. The story we tell ourselves feels true, and we don’t realize in the moment that we are not getting it 100% right.

Our internal narrators tell us stories about what is happening in the present moment often based on the pain we experienced in childhood. I (James) have experienced this in my relationship with Claire. She can innocently do or say something, and I can lose myself in anger and frustration because I think she is telling me, “You’re not enough.”

This podcast shares a reframing tool. It will help you question your narrative in real time to avoid the disconnect in the first place. With self-awareness you can tell yourself a better and more accurate story about your partner.

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