Daniel Siegel: Presence, Parenting and the Planet
James and I (Claire) wish that we had known about these concepts when we were young parents, and are thrilled that we have discovered this for our season of grandparenting.
Siegal translates the field of interpersonal neurobiology into simple and clear language to help parents understand how kids thrive. He says children need to feel seen, soothed, and safe. And then, because no parent can do that perfectly, he stresses the most important piece: repair. If a parent repairs regularly, and is decently consistent with the 3 S’s, the child will be secure.
Secure attachment is like a vaccine that supports the development of resilience, which the child will need later during the difficult times of adolescence and adulthood. However, we as parents cannot provide secure attachment if we are “flipping our lid”. Siegel helps parents understand what is happening in our brains when we lose our cool, or suddenly become frozen, and how we can only effectively parent when we are in a calm state of mind.
