How We Love Our Kids: The 5 Love Styles of Parenting
I (Claire) wish we had found this book before we had kids. The authors write: “It came as quite a surprise after more than a dozen years of parenting, that we had damaged love styles. We had learned to hide our personal difficulties so well, even from ourselves, as dysfunctional-but-functioning adults.”
Many parenting problems are alleviated or completely solved when parents become aware of how the baggage from their own upbringing is contributing to the difficulties. The authors describe five types of parents: the avoider, the pleaser, the vacillator, the controller and the victim. I am definitely able to relate to a few of these; I’m sure you can too.
This book offers a unique approach that helps us as parents transform our kids by making specific changes in how we love. It reveals the unseen forces that shape every interaction. When we get rid of our “buttons”, our kids can’t push them.
Based on years of research in the area of attachment and bonding, How We Love Our Kids shows parents how to retool their reactions and to cultivate a secure, deep connection with their children. It includes four self-assessments and powerful application tools to use with children of all ages.
