It Takes One To Tango: How I Rescued My Marriage With (Almost) No Help From My Spouse – And How You Can, Too

When you are unable to get your partner’s buy-in, you can stop waiting for them to join in the effort and change your marriage by yourself. Really?

Really. When I (Claire) asked my therapist about a good marriage book, this is the one she recommended. Planning to change your marriage alone might seem at first to be a defeatist position to take, but in reality it is quite empowering.  

The author, a marriage and family therapist, learned from her own experience that unilateral action is what creates change in a relationship. She describes in story form the many (relatable) fights that she and her husband had, going round and round the block, caught in a cycle of blaming and deflecting blame, with no way to exit. The fights they were having were identical to those of her clients. They were attempting to obliterate their differences, as if their success depended on them gaining consensus.  

Conventional wisdom says that “one person shouldn’t have to do more” in a marriage. But once we get past the issues of fairness and stop blaming the other person for the state we are in, we can see the payoff that comes from signing on as the architect in the remodel of our marriage.

Winifred tells her own stories, along with anecdotes from many clients she’s worked with, to describe how one partner can initiate far-reaching positive change in a marriage. Combining psychological theory, practical advice and personal narrative, this book is a refreshing and witty guide that will empower you to take a bold, proactive approach to create an enjoyable and lasting marriage.