The Connected Life #233: Creating an Emotionally Healthy Family (four-part series)
Remember how, as children, we would come home, open the door, and without a word being said could feel if it was a safe place for us to be or not? Now we are parents and may wonder, “Is my home giving off vibes which make my own child feel unsafe?” The answer is probably yes! Yikes – so what do we do about that? Well, we are in for a treat!
Justin and Abi and their best friends Johnny and Pietze (parents of an autistic girl and sensitive young boy) have a great conversation about the kind of emotional dynamics in ourselves and in our homes that create safe, regulated and flourishing environments for our children. Some things they say will make us laugh. “Having children is like throwing a brick into a dryer.” Other things will make us squirm. “When my kiddo has big emotions, it is likely a reflection of what is going on inside of me, the parent.” But in the end, we will come away super encouraged. Kids don’t need perfect parents; they need good-enough parents who know how to repair.
This conversation is informed by brain science, by the research behind how our bodies and nervous systems work. It describes how home can be a place where big emotions aren’t overwhelming, and how we can keep showing up as the caring adults in the room that children desperately need in order to return to calm. I (James) highly commend this four-part chat for anyone who wants a home environment where parents and kiddos can have fun and thrive at the same time.
