The Place We Find Ourselves #29: Forgiveness
Forgiveness does not mean that we forget. In order to forgive, we must be honest about how we have been harmed. And the harm is almost always worse than we acknowledge. We cannot minimize or ignore these wounds when we are seeking to forgive someone.
I (Claire) felt this podcast deep in my spirit. I realized I have had a very thin idea of what forgiveness really is. And it left me feeling like I wanted more of this deeper and expanded version of forgiveness in my relationships.
Adam Young is a clinical social worker, with master’s degrees in both social work and divinity.
He says that forgiveness is much more nuanced than we have been led to believe. A common alternative to forgiveness, he says, is to cut the other person out of our awareness. To cut them from humanity. In that process, we actually cut ourselves off from our desires: our desire for them to own up to what they have done, our desire for vengeance, or our desire for reconciliation. When we shut down our desires, our hearts harden, and we become less human. Young offers a more life-giving way forward.
